This site for jokes and funnies
Aug 15, 2021 9:06:41 GMT -5
rgs318, KY Crusader 75, and 3 more like this
Post by sader1970 on Aug 15, 2021 9:06:41 GMT -5
Stipulating that this has little or nothing to do with "Holy Cross" per se, it is a "Non-Sports Discussion" that I am proposing here.
Too many threads IMHO are polarized and quasi-political which we know are off-limits but find there way here (think the Covid threads).
So, I am proposing when someone sees a funny joke or cartoon, they post it here with the hopes that this thread doesn't also degenerate into divisiveness. Let's share the funnies. The world needs to laugh more as the Reader's Digest says, "Laughter is the best medicine."
Starting this off, I got the following from my first cousin, once removed, my late father's 80 year old first cousin:
A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo !
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole !"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client ?"
Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make ?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer ?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile ?"
"Yes, Sir.
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for asshole ?"
Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do.
How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client ?
My response to my cousin:
Having worked with many retired NYPD including a former motorcycle cop who was my “office roommate,” when I first started my career in insurance claims work, this joke is much more closely realistic than most people would realize.😂
Too many threads IMHO are polarized and quasi-political which we know are off-limits but find there way here (think the Covid threads).
So, I am proposing when someone sees a funny joke or cartoon, they post it here with the hopes that this thread doesn't also degenerate into divisiveness. Let's share the funnies. The world needs to laugh more as the Reader's Digest says, "Laughter is the best medicine."
Starting this off, I got the following from my first cousin, once removed, my late father's 80 year old first cousin:
A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo !
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything.
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole !"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client ?"
Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."
Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make ?"
"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."
"What does the "AH" stand for, officer ?"
"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile ?"
"Yes, Sir.
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for asshole ?"
Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do.
How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client ?
My response to my cousin:
Having worked with many retired NYPD including a former motorcycle cop who was my “office roommate,” when I first started my career in insurance claims work, this joke is much more closely realistic than most people would realize.😂