Post by Non Alum Dave on Dec 23, 2019 12:21:03 GMT -5
Ok, whether it makes you laugh, snicker or roll your eyes (or anything else), I hope this at least is not as painful as some of the trying times we've witnessed these first 2 months. 
Thanks to those who provided me with ideas. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy New Years to ALL Crossporters!
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2019
Twas the Night Before Christmas, and up at the Nation,
our new hoops coach was ready for vacation.
“I’m not having much fun, if the truth be told,
and not only that but it’s so blasted cold!”
Like Mick Jagger he was getting no satisfaction,
and he cringed when thinking of the fans’ reaction.
At home little Eli was not all that happy
as he was expecting more wins from his pappy.
So like a scrooge Coach scheduled a practice on Christmas Eve,
was to start at 11 pm, if you could believe.
“The boys won’t be happy with a practice so late,
but we’ve got to improve or deal with a doomed fate.”
As he glanced at his Rocco’s donut* he thought it would be smart
to get in a quick nap before practice starts.
So he laid down on his couch as he had done before
not knowing at all what was lying in store.
Soon our new coach had fallen fast asleep,
had Santa arrived then he’d have heard not a peep.
He soon dreamt of a meeting, somewhere in the Luth,
with a group of participants, pledged to speak the truth.
There was George Blaney, of whom Coach heard about,
though older in years, he still possessed clout.
Next to him sat home state hero Jerry West,
in Coach’s eyes one of the absolute best!
But in the other seat did whom a shocked Coach see?
none other than wrestling legend Killer Kowalski!**
Coach Blaney got it started, having been in those shoes,
he still knew how it felt when you were expected to lose.
“Don’t forget, coach, I had a most terrible start,
but it wasn’t that long before we were packing the Hart.
Use that kid that looks just like Vicens;
send him into the paint, again and again!”
Now it was Jerry West’s turn to advise,
he offered some interesting words to the wise.
“I’m happy to be your home state advisor,
a few minutes of my time and you’ll be none the wiser.”
“I’ll work with Austin and Copeland, and maybe Wade too,
bring some Mountain State flavor right on up to the Woo”.
And then finally it was Killer’s turn to speak;
it was a short message, but not one for the meek.
“Just apply The Full Nelson, they’ll drop down and fold,
better listen to me or you’ll get my claw hold!
And if I can work with your bigs you will soon know,
They’ll be as just as tough as Chief Jay Strongbow!”
Coached listened intently, and valued each word
It was some of most sensible advice he had heard.
Then suddenly into this room who did appear,
it was Coach Chesney and not on a reindeer!
The creature that carried our beloved Crusader
was a purple, full grown alligator!
Am I back in Florida, Coach thought; it made no sense,
but it was for real, and Ches’s look was intense.
“Building programs are tough, he said with a sneer,
but the message you send must be crystal clear.”
“Come in hard with your Full Nelson brand,
I have no doubts the results will be grand.”
“And if it seems your guys are running out of steam,
I’ll be glad to lend Dobbs and Cozier to your team!”
“And don’t take this little tidbit in stride,
but with every recruit, you MUST talk up 90 wide!”
And with that Ches jumped off of the gator
tossed Coach a pair of Ray-Bans, saying “yo later!”.
Then Coach Blaney, and Jerry and Killer too,
came over to Coach Nelson and said, “Coach, don’t be so blue.”
“We know it’s not looking so good at this time,
but you’ve got our support, whether rain or shine.”
“Just maintain your course, and someday you’ll see,
that The Full Nelson will be all it can be.”
At that moment Coach Nelson awoke in his office space,
to the feeling of Austin gently tapping his face.
“Coach, let’s go, it’s almost midnight, he said
let’s make some improvements while our opponents are in bed.”
Coach Nelson smiled to himself, thinking “those guys were right”
It’s now time to take a step forward tonight.
Soon balls were bouncing in the bright Blaney gym
And some were in full flight heading straight towards the rims.
There was Faw, and Lowder, Yeutter and Verbeek,
Copeland and Reilly, with even Clayton on his feet!
Niego and Butler, Sandy and Wade,
Hargis and Hart, all with energy in spades.
HC92’s kids had even snuck in the gym,
holding a “Pridgen for President!” sign and sporting big grins.
Seeing all his charges working seemingly with glee
Coach knew this was the place that he wanted to be
And as our Coach kept looking at this wonderful sight
he shouted “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
*Hopefully someday the home of The Full Nelson donut!
**Yes, I know he’s no longer with us, but desperate times calls for desperate measures!
